No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
