Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Congratulations! We have a period
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