yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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