Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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