So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
