i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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