Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
