So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
