she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize