i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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