Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
