Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
