Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
