woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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