Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
