and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
