A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
