'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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