I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
