next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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