who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
