i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
