ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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