So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
