he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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