When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
