The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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