Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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