I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Mom said you looked used
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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