Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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