OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
