My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
