I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize