Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
