My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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