Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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