Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
