is wine microwaveable?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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