yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
