did i walk over a car last night?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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