everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
