He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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