Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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