we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
