I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize