Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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