My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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