my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize