i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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