so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
