I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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