Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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