I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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