He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
