Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
