I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
