I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
