i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
