Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize