Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
