i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
