So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
