i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
