dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
