"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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