the new term for farting is butt boxing.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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