On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
