actually, I'm a sock model
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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