and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
