He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
