i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
