i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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