I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
