Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
