so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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