I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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