Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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